Monday, June 30, 2014

Think of Me by David Archuleta

actually, ini lagunya dari Phantom of The Opera. akhir akhir ini lagi kena demam PTO dan lagu ini lagi ngewakilin gue banget

Think of me
Think of me fondly when we've said goodbye
Remember me once in a while, please promise me you'll try
When you find that once again you long to take your heart back and be free
If you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me

We never said our love was evergreen
Or as unchanging as the sea
But if you can still remember
Stop and think of me

Think of all the things we've said and seen,
Don't think about the things which might have been

Think of me,
Think of me waking, silent and resigned.
Imagine me
Trying too hard to put you from my mind.
Recall those days, look back on all those times,
Think of the things we'll never do.
There will never be a day when I won't think of you!

Think of me, please say you'll think of me
Whenever I ask you just to do
There will never be a day when I won't think of you!

Never be a day I won't ever think of you.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Him

well, bulan ini emang aneh. di satu sisi rasanya nggak pengen kemakan sama omongan sendiri. dimana gue sama sekali nggak pengen berharap lebih karena gue nggak mau hal yang sama keulang untuk kesekian kalinya. gue yg pengen bisa bersikap biasa aja dan ngeyakinin gue kalo ini cuma sekedar crush doang. tapi di sisi lain, gue pengen harapan gue bisa bertahan dan nggak meredup.

dan di saat harapan gue sempet meredup, dia dengen suksesnya 'menyentil' lagi dan buat gue kembali di atas. hanya dengan hal hal kecil, dia bisa bikin efek yg besar, yg berpengaruh sama gue. yang bikin gue kembali merasa kalo gue ada harapan dan berpikir kalo gue kemungkinan bakal kemakan omongan gue sendiri.

dan tiba-tiba aja gue ngerasa kalo karma mulai mendatangi gue. gue sendiri jujur aja suka nggak nyadar sama batasan gue ke cowo, dan emang begitu lah komunitas gue. cewe cowo terlalu deket. dan disaat gue emang ngerasa gue biasa aja dengan kedekatan itu, dia secara nggak langsung juga melakukan hal yang sama kayak gue. dan itu ngebuat gue kesel dan uneasy. rasanya pengen teriak.

dan baru aja kemaren gue bilang, gue baru sadar kalo semua kriteria yang gue pengen, kriteria yang gue cari, ada di dia. he's wearing glasses -walaupun ga tiap hari tiap saat tapi gue tau dia pake- and he can play guitar. actually ada satu hal yang gue belum yakin 100%. dia penyayang kucing. gue selalu 'jatuh cinta' sama cowo penyayang kucing dan nggak takut sama kucing. and suddenly i realized, i love him when he play drum stick with his fingers. i was amazed.

temen gue bilang, tuhan secara nggak langsung ngasih semua kriteria yang gue pengen lewat dia. i think it's true. dari sekian banyak cowo yang pernah singgah, cuma dia yang ngewakilin kriteria paling banyak. ah! dan satu lagi, he's not smoking! itu penting.

yah, 2 orang yang selama ini tempat gue cerita selalu membuat gue ingin memberi mereka 'sesuatu' tentang gue sama dia. dan salah satunya ngomong, kalo dia (temen gue yang cowo) nggak bilang buat gue nyerah aja, berarti ada kabar bagus buat gue. well, yah gue berharap itu bener karena gue sampai sekarang berkeyakinan sama hal hal kecil, perhatian perhatian kecil yang dia lakuin dan dia kasih ke gue. so, let's see....

Throwback

'pulang bareng bang aja yuk'
untuk pertama kalinya dan sekaligus berakhir untuk terakhir kalinya, taun lalu, akhir November kata kata itu terucap.

'cepet sembuh ya dek biar bisa denger teriakan kamu lagi'
perhatian kecil yg pada akhirnya buat gue pengen bener bener sembuh.

'aku bukan siapa-siapa, yus. i can't.'
'kalo kamu jadi siapa-siapanya gimana?'
when he did something that i really hate, but my heart said, it's okay to tolerate it.

'gimana? masih sering dm-an? mention yah pasti? sms-an atuh?'
when my friends ask me about me and him. well, berkali-kalo pertanyaan itu datang.

sigh. sekilas kalimat kalimat itu masih terngiang sampai detik ini. bahkan saat cerita yg gue buat karena sengaja ingin bercerita, buat gue kembali terngiang.
it's complicated, but it's okay. semua itu sudah mulai menjadi sebuah 'cerita' yg bikin gue belajar untuk ke depannya.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

I Can't Find The Words To Say Goodbye by Nina

nah! nggak tau kenapa lagi seneng sam lagu ini.. mungkin karena sebagian besar liriknya ngewakilin perasaan gue kali ahaha..

Can't say I don't love him
Still I can't pretend
That my heart is torn just knowing that I'm losing my bestfriend
If it's easier said and done
Then someone tell me why
Though I try,
I can't find the words to say goodbye

I could tell him that I'm sorry
Hope he'll understand
He will have to do with someone else
All that we have planned
I'd rather him hear the truth
Than hurt him with a lie
So I tried
But I can't find the words to say goodbye

Now I know
I have to go
There's no other way
But goodbye is not what I can bring myself to say

If I told him 'see you later'
Then I might be wrong
cause this voice inside is driving me to find where I belong
I know I must leave him now but everytime I try
Don't know why
But I can't find the words to say goodbye

What Should I Do?

udah ga tau lagi harus kayak gimana. pengennya nggak mau kemakan sama omongan sendiri, tapi gue bisa apa kalo sampe sekarang malah keinginan gue buat berharap makin besar. sigh. rasanya pengen harepan itu makin menyusut makin ke sini, nggak pengen yg dulu-dulu keulang lagi. but what can I do? I can't do something! I'm stuck!
and now, what should I do with this hope? with this feeling? harus gue buang gitu aja? if I must throw it all, so all this time I just wasting my time!
argh!

Monday, April 28, 2014

All of Me by John Legend

hmm.... mendadak suka sama lagu ini karena seseorang :"> well, pengennya sih dengerin terus versi dia, coveran dia tapi sayangnya ga bisa di download.. well, just see the lyrics. kalo versi kegeerannya gue ntar kenapa ada hubungannya sama gue *plak* ahahaha tapi ntah lah cuma Yang Di Atas yang tau :)

What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you

My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

Give me all of you
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you

I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

Monday, April 21, 2014

What A 'Story'!

well, gue masih bingung. entahlah, gue nggak pernah ngerti sama 'cerita' gue. nggak pernah ada yg happy ending. entah karena salah guenya.

well, kalo gue liat lagi ke belakang, gue emang ngerasa semuanya salah gue. gue yg terlalu pengecut buat bilang dan gue yg terlali muna buat ngakuin. dan pada akhirnya semua ending nggak sesuai dengan kemauan gue. actually, gue benci sama situasi kayak gitu. situasi dimana gue nggak bisa berbuat apa-apa, situasi dimana gue terlalu pengecut, situasi dimana gue akhirnya nangis karena kebodohan gue.

dan bodohnya lagi kesalahan itu terus gue ulang dan ulang lagi. hello wooor, ada apa sih sama otak lo? elo nggak bisa apa belajar dari kesalahan lo yg dulu? sigh. dan ketika gue baru sadar kesalahan gue, gue cuma bisa nyesel karena semuanya udah terlambat. too slow to realize.

rasanya mau mulai 'cerita' baru juga jadi sangsi. gue nggak mau keulang kayak yg dulu dulu. gue nggak mau kebodohan gue keulang lagi untuk kesekian kalinya.